Friday, 15 Dec 2017

How It All Began . . .


After long term marriages (Herb 21 years, Joy 18 years), both of us found ourselves where we never dreamed we would be....divorced. After all, we did the right things; married Christians, had a nice church wedding, went to church with our families, participated in ministry etc etc. Come to find out, you can want a successful marriage ever so much but if your partner falls into the "pit of apathy" and won't participate in trying to make the marriage healthy, the equation simply will not add up....1 + 0 will never equal 2. After 3 years of being single both of us felt we had come to a place we were ready to think about being married again. At different times, in different churches, we had gone thru "Divorce Care" not once but twice! (We highly recommend this program to those who are divorced).

We like to think about those 3 years as a remodel project when God pretty much tore down our lives to the foundation and studs, reworking our tho't processes, our ways of responding to life's trials and our ability to trust the One who held the new plans for the structure He wanted to build...the beginning of our "God Triangle". Even tho we lived just over a half hour from each other and attended similar churches, our lives did not overlap as Herb was gone much of the time with his job as an airline pilot. Joy was employed full time in Emmett, attended church in Fruitland and college in Ontario plus single parenting 3 kids and tending the home and small acreage where she lived. That left little time for "trolling" as Steve Brewer calls dating! But God had a plan! Herb attended church with Joy's aunt and uncle, Ralph and Gladys Kellogg. Ralph and Herb went on a short term mission trip to Haiti in the early spring of 2001, and became good friends.

Seems how Joy was very close to her aunt and uncle and they were intent on helping her find a decent man if she should decided to make time for one, Aunt Gladys began to "chase Herb around" with family photo albums (that's what Herb called it!) And Uncle Ralph gave glowing reports of his new friend, Herb, and offered to introduce the 2 "lonely hearts". Both Herb & Joy were just tired enough of being set up by well meaning friends, that they politely refused the generous offers of the Kellogg Cupids. Until.... One day Uncle Ralph calls Joy and invites her to a horse show in Nampa. He just happens to have another ticket, wouldn't she love to go...it would be so fun! Of course she HAD to ask the question, "And who else are you inviting along, Uncle Ralph?" A short pause and he replied that yes, he had invited Herb Lewis. A long pause on Joy's end, then she agreed to attend...if she could bring her 7 year old daughter along. At the horse show, Joy plops the 7 year old between herself and the new "prospect" to observe with peripheral vision just how this fellow would treat a young female child. (Joy already knew Herb had no daughters, no sisters...this was a red flag on Joy's "list"). Well to her surprise Herb seems very comfortable with the youngster and this fact is noted by the Mother. The young daughter even wrote a short notation in her journal about the event and Mom's friend, Herb, who seemed to be quite humorous. Despite the somewhat cool first meeting, Herb tho't it would be worth asking for another outing with Joy, but suggested she not bring the daughter this time! The time together went fast; so much to talk about...until Herb stops in the middle of yet another story and asks Joy if she knows how to gauge when a date with a pilot is about half over. No, how? Oh, it's when the pilot says, "Enough about airplanes, let's talk about ME!" Ha! Dinner at Cracker Barrel and before they know it, the police officers are coming in off Swing Shift and besides the cops, Joy and Herb are the only people left! So much to talk about! And that is how it all began....